Letter's from Daddy's Baby Girl to her Daddy
by BabeOfDarkness
Summary: This isn't nothing to do with wrestling but it does go along with my You Can Let Go Daddy Fic, these are my notes that I wrote to help cope with live without daddy. Hope you like them
1. December, 15, 2010

Hey Daddy I love you as you already know, we miss you too. We know you are in no pain and you can breathe so much better now, and your legs aren't hurting and your heart is 100% again. Me, Momma, J.C. and Susan are all ok daddy. It hurts sometimes daddy, and we just have to break. I know momma is going to love what you got her for Christmas daddy. Daddy everyone is so nice to us, all the people at GED and people at church and everyone around the world are so nice. GUESS WHAT DADDY? JOHN CENA FOLLOWED ME! YES DADDY! JOHN CENA FOLLOWED ME ON TWITTER. Now I am so happy! Wrestling was so funny Monday! Christian came out with Edge to present an award and it was so funny. Edge won the award for the melt down of the year and Christian was making the beeping sound like the GM computer. LOL! Thanks daddy for getting me into watching wrestling. At class tonight Virgi gave every man nuts because she said men loves nuts. LOL! Rhonda was making me laugh the most. I did cry 2 times tonight while down there daddy because I miss your cuddles and tickles to my side and the little pokes. I know you are with all of us and I know you are with Grandpa, Chuckie and lots more. I know you weren't very good with GOD but I believe you are up there and watching over us. Everyone is praying for us daddy! Goodnight daddy I will talk tomorrow. Love your baby girl!


	2. December 16, 2010

Daddy, it's me your baby girl. It's so gloomy outside, please don't cry daddy, I want you to smile, please shine. I am crying daddy, it hurts, I see you everywhere and you are. Daddy I slept good last night, but I miss your scent in the house and everything. Daddy, uncle gene is helping so much daddy, grandma is doing ok, and Lyn is ok now too. We are all fine daddy, me and mom said that you are breathing so much better now. I am sitting in the waiting room with Susan at treatments and all the people over here are going to miss you soo much they were all crying with me and they didn't even know you. Christmas we are eating with grandma and gene and more people. We are going to be in the Lords house Sunday at church with Virgi and all them. I know you will be there right beside momma. You always said that when you reach 50 you will get a motorcycle well daddy you got one now. Daddy today has been hard. I listened to some sad songs and cried daddy. I am sorry for crying I know you don't like to see me cry. There was a man that came in was holding his grandson and I knew how you talked about your grandchildren when I had them and I cried just thinking bout the day when you seen a baby at dollar store and you were soo sweet daddy. I didn't watch wrestling tonight daddy because I went on the porch and listened to the cds. I listened to I Like It daddy, I know you love that song. I played it soo loud and sang it loud. Daddy that is all I know to talk about because I am drained again, and we miss you soo much. I cried because I miss you going 80 or 90 in the car, I prob. won't be going that speed anymore. I love you soo much. Your baby girl.


	3. December 17, 2010

Daddy today was soo fun but we still miss you but I know you were having fun with us. Daddy I don't regret anything because I know that you love me soo much and nothing will stop you from loving me. Daddy we went to go get propane and the man there was so shocked to here that you passed. He seen you a week ago and couldn't believe you was gone. We then went to Taco Bell and ate, then we went to see Grandma and Gene! They asked me how I was doing and I said ok, they knew I was so close to you and that I was your baby girl. Daddy, momma was strong today and soo was I and JC. We went to pick you up and then that is when I started to cry a little because momma said that you weren't riding in the car in your body but you were always there and she said even though you weren't ready to leave you had too because your body was soo worn. We started to cry but then we laughed because we thought about the good times and everything. I love you daddy! Love Your Baby Girl!


	4. A Week Has Past Daddy

Daddy it has already been a week since you left us. I know you are with us daddy, but it hurts because we can't see you. Daddy we are strong and the church is behind us too. Daddy every time I get on FaceBook or Twitter I smile because my friends care about me so much. When you were in the hospital I made up excuses to leave the room, it wasn't because I didn't love you daddy, it was because I couldn't see you suffering as much as you did. I will always remember that Sunday morning you held Grandma's hand and mom's and then mine. I love you daddy soo much. When I watch Wrestling I smile because you have a front row seat to all the matches and events and I am so grateful you and JC got me into watching. Love you forever and ever daddy! Love your Baby Girl


	5. First Christmas Without You Daddy

Daddy this is our first Christmas without you and I am crying right now because you won't be here with us in your body. I go to mom's and yours bedroom sometimes because I can still remember you laying on your back watching tv or on your stomach asleep. I can still smell your scent all in the house and I sniff your clothes. I remember the times you held me soo close in your arms and never failed to protect me daddy. This is hard to write when I am crying and can't get all my thoughts together but daddy I love you so much and miss you tons. Tonight we went out and ate at CiCi's and I ate enough for both of us, and yes I did eat a brownie for you. I can just hear what you say everyday. We are trying to be strong daddy, but some days I break because I remember the last days that we spent together. I know you love me and I know you know I love you, but it just hurts I didn't say it enough when you were alive and well. Daddy, I am glad that you held me close in your arms and close to you for 18 years. I know when I look up at the stars and the clouds and everything, you are with me. Oh daddy how I miss you soo. I love you Daddy. Love your Baby Girl


	6. 2 Weeks Has Passed

Its been 2 weeks since you drifted away from us and away from the pain, daddy the pain still hasn't gone away and it will never go away from us. Last friday we lit a candle and the church service for you, and when we went home we opened our presents. Momma opened hers first and she loved what she got from you, we both teared up when she found out what you got her, she sleeps in her robe every night and she listens to her CDS everyday, sometimes at night I can here her cry. Last Thursday we went to your favorite place to eat and I was ok till we got home and I cried, I could remember you saying Eat this other brownie, it will be ok. Christmas we went to grandmas and ate and talked bout you. When we were fixing to leave grandma said it was strange not having you there with us and I started to cry but not as much I did that afternoon, when we got home I had to get out I know it was freezing outside but I just needed to talk outloud. Sunday was fun because we were at church with family, as we call them and they are. Yesterday me and JC went thru pictures and then went to hunt for the videos, we found them I watched the halloween home videos and I laughed, then went to classes and laughed more. When we got home is when I broke down again after watching the last of Raw I went to bed, and cried because now I don't have you to talk to about wrestling or anything, you know momma doesn't like to watch wrestling, and JC tells me to shut up and just watch it and Susan doesn't care. I only have the people on my social networks to talk about but it isn't like talking with you daddy. We are going to have sausage tonight for supper and I always remember when you joked about me and my sausages, oh daddy, I love you and miss you but I know you love me and I love you and I will be your baby girl forever.


	7. 3 Weeks Daddy

Daddy here I am again, it's been 21 days since you got lifted up and I know why, you were suffering so much. I know you are always here with me. Daddy I miss you so much. I wished you were there with me, and mom, and JC at church Friday night but I know your sprirt was, it was so much fun. Sunday I heard a message that will life throughout me forever. Words I meant to say and didn't and words I said but I didn't mean. Daddy, when we were alone by our selves, I started an arguement I didn't mean, daddy I wished I could take it back but I can't but I know you forgave me. It just hurts me because I didn't know it was going to be our last time we were together. I just look back on those days and I cry and cry because I didn't mean to do what I did. I want to say things about you at the memorial but I just can't put the words I want to and everything. I wished we could erase the last week you were alive and redo it but we can't. I just love that we had our fun times more then the bad times. I couldn't have had a better daddy than you, you were always there beside me and when you weren't you were always on the phone with me telling me that you were alright. Daddy your baby girl is doing alright some times but I miss you. Everytime I am over at Susan's treatments I look out the window or door, imagining the car was out there with you in it, and at noon I look for you to come in and ask me if I want to go eat. Daddy I miss our one on one time. If I had just one more day I would do everything new, daddy. Daddy I would love to thank you for not abusing me in any way or hurting me, there are so many kids that gets abused and me and JC was one of the lucky ones to have a great father. Daddy I better quit typing I have so many tears coming down. I love you daddy so much and I miss you.


	8. You Are Perfect to Me Daddy

Daddy I know people judged you so much but I had never judged you, you were perfect to me. I know you weren't able to play ball or anthing that we could have played outside but all that mattered was that you loved me. We could just simply been in a fast food place eating and talking and it would made my day because you were with me. Daddy you were perfect to me in many ways, you could have told me that I couldn't have seen Adam in Houston that day but you didn't, you wanted me happy and you were so happy for me meeting him. You could have told me I watched wrestling to much and talked about it much but you just joined in talking about it and laughed about the things that were so weird to other people except the crazies! you were one of us daddy. I have many men in my life right now as you know but none of them are like you daddy. You were always there for me and I want to thank you. Daddy the last day you were suffering I wanted to bad to see you but I just couldn't bear to see you so sick and on the machines, that wasn't you and I just stayed home where you memories are and will always be. I love you Forever and Ever.


	9. Daddy You will be Missed Forever

Here I am again Daddy, these days still hurt the most, when I can't see you or talk to you. I know I can say things to you but I never get an answer back. Daddy you live in my heart and remain there till I see you again. I still wear the pain of losing you. I know you were getting tired before you left us. Daddy I am wrapped in your blanket and you coat on me, I can see the images of you wearing it. Somedays I can smell your scent around me. With every tear that falls from my eyes right now and forever that falls I know you will dry them all. Oh daddy it is hard not hearing you say "You are my baby girl" and JC pokes me on my sides sometimes and they reminds me of your pokes. Daddy I am forever blessed to have you in my life and will always. I remembering all the memories we shared, I still can't believe you are gone. I don't know what week I will stop hurting, next week or maybe never daddy, but I know it isn't today. My tears are falling freely as a river flowing. It doesn't seem like 28 days since the last time I seen your face, actually 29 because on the day you died I didn't want to see you gone. Oh daddy, I just wished I could have one more day with you, but we both know if that happened we would want more. I know I will be your baby girl forever, and this baby girl misses you sooo much. Daddy I know you are watching from above and I know you love me with everything in you. I will talk to you later I love you daddy!


	10. Daddy I am still Struggling

Daddy, I want to let you know I love you, altho you already know that. I am struggling still with the pain, my faith is still growing strong by each day that passes. I want to say something about you on Friday but I don't know if I can say it. I know I am going to be crying Friday at the memorial and I don't think I can stand up in front of everyone and cry while reading. I know people read my notes and say what a wonderful daughter I am, I am a good daughter but I don't know daddy. Sometimes it felt like I wasn't when I got you all mad and I knew your heart conditions and I did it anyways. Daddy I started a scrapbook of you so it can still look like you are here with me in person. It's still hard daddy not seeing you here with me. I blow kisses to the sky for you and I act crazy sometimes and laugh. I 3 my life and I know that you gave me all you love while you were with me and you still do at this very moment. I miss our times together, just me and you. Anything I wanted you made sure I got it or got close to it. For 18 years I had a great father and mentor and I still do, it's just hard not seeing you. I know I keep repeating that, but I still can't believe you are gone. I remember that day when you were awake from your coma and you knew I was crying and you flipped my hand over and held and squeezed it hard. I told you I loved you so much and you mouthed it too. Even tho I hate to keep it in my mind, the hospital visits weren't all bad, but I just couldn't see you in that state and I left and went to cry in the bathroom on the phone with friends or on the computer. I was never alone daddy, and I will never be. You and God are watching out for me. You walk everywhere I walk and go everywhere I do. Daddy, I want to tell you that since the day I was born I was wrapped around you finger and you never let go. Daddy, I feel so loved by so many people and I know I am. There are some people that I talk to that makes me think I am with them and knew them forever. There are some wrestlers I talk to everyday and they make me feel loved. I can never go to sleep before I get a goodnight from one person and you know who it is. 3 you daddy sooo much and I miss you.


	11. Daddy You Can See Through My Fakeness

Daddy you see how fake I am sometimes. Some people ask me am I am ok with you being gone? I tell them I am and I am doing fine. If they could see behind my eyes and see the pain, and behind that fake smile and see I am crying inside what would they think? Daddy you can see the tears that I cry and the pain that I feel. I wish I could let the people that lives around me in and for them to help me, but I can't. Daddy only you can see that when I smile you can tell if it is that fake one or the real one. Somedays I smile because I mean it but most of the time it is fake. I thought that when you died that the pain would only be with me for 2 to 3 days, I never thought it would last this long and even longer. It still hurts daddy. And why does susan want to start stuff about you everyday. She knows how much I mss you and she still wants to talk trash about you. Does she not get it that I miss you and I always waited for the day that you would walked me down the aisle and dance that father daughter dance. I never had the chance to dance with you, she doesn't get that. All she wants to being up that you smoked yourself to death, that wasn't the reason. Daddy I am glad that I have all these people on the internet that care about me. I open my heart up and spill it over them, they listen daddy and they never leave me. They are family daddy. I love them so much. They cheer me up daddy and they know how I am when I miss you. Daddy I am going to go now and I will be back talking to you later. I Love You Daddy and I Miss You.


	12. Today is the Big Day Daddy

Daddy the day has come, where we all get together and celebrate your life on Earth, I know you are watching from Heaven and I know you don't like what I am doing right now daddy. You don't like to see your baby girl crying or shaking cuz her nerves are all shaken. Daddy, I know I don't have to say sorry to you about not being able to say anything about you today, you know how much you meant to me. Daddy I knew you loved me before I was born and I know you continue loving me until you have me in your arms again. When I was born I was wrapped around your finger and I was wrapped around yours and still am. Daddy you were my first hero I had in my life, you kept me safe from all the harm and if I lost something you always helped me find it. Daddy this morning I knew today was going to be hard because I couldn't sleep and I was on the verge of a Panic Attack, people talked me thru that just like you would have done. Daddy I love you and Miss You. I need to go now to get dressed. Daddy, I know I am your baby girl, and you are my Hero, I am your Princess and you are my King, of my castle.


	13. I AM So Happy Daddy

Daddy! I am so happy! I am not even counting this week or no more weeks since you been called home, I am not sad anymore. I knew why you went and I am so glad that you aren't hurting anymore. Yes, I do get sad some because you aren't here in the human form, but I know you are always here in the spirit. Daddy I smile more than cry now, because I have so many people to lean on for support. There are times I want to cry but I can't because some one is always there making me laugh. Like the preacher said daddy, that we shouldn't be sad, for you are in Heaven watching over us and you have made a home and so many friends there. I am being your brave and strong lil girl here until I meet you again. Daddy your party we had for you last Friday went amazing, even tho we were crying. You always loved parties and we gave you a big one. I know you were there in all of us, there was so many people coming to hug me and told me it will be ok baby girl, your daddy is watching over you. I haven't stopped smiling since I forgave myself Sunday at chruch, it feels good daddy to let go of the guilt I had built up in me. I know you love it when I smile so daddy I will keep smiling thru my rough times because I know you are watching and don't like seeing me sad or cry. I love you so much daddy and miss you. You are never that far away. I can go outside or inside for that matter and just talk into the air and I know you will listen. Love you Daddy from your baby girl!


	14. I Thought I was Doing Ok with You Gone

Daddy, I thought I was through grieving but I guess I am not, because I find myself with watery eyes and a hurting heart. Your birthday is this Thursday (Feb 3rd) and mine is the next (Feb 10th) and I just miss you and wish you could be here with us in the human form but I know you can't because God needed you more. Also I think that I am sad because you said last year that after our birthdays we could go get tattoo's. Daddy, I miss you every day but I know I will see you again one day. I know you will be with us when we get baptized next Sunday (Feb 6th) and you will be smiling. I am so loved by many as you know, if I named them all it will take forever. Each one is special to me and I love them. They don't matter what time of day it is they will be on and talking to me. My heart is flooding over with the love they give me. I cannot thank them enough for being there for me anytime. I miss you daddy, I can't believe you are gone to Heaven. It was just like yesterday that you took me to get a milkshake, or when we had our one on one time by ourselves just acting crazy in walmart or something. I miss those times and I miss you. No one can ever replace you daddy you are one of a kind, just like my friends on here. I don't want to feel sad so I am going to stop. Love you daddy, from your baby girl. I know you see me now, sitting in the backyard crying so I am going to try to stop. Happy Early Birthday daddy! Be back on Thursday and say it again.


	15. Happy Birthday Daddy

Happy Birthday Daddy! I love you and miss you everyday! Tomorrow is ure birthday and I knew it would get to me. I am going to just have a great day tomorrow cuz you would want me to, we used to celebrate our birthdays on Saturday. I know you are beside me and I have the strength but it still gets me and I know it will get easier and then get sad around birthdays and so forth. I don't like crying and you know that, I am crying just remembering the times we shared and was fun and all but I know we won't have anymore until I see you again. I am well taken care of daddy as you know. All these friends of mine on here are always cheering me up and making me smile when I want to cry or get sad. Even tho they aren't right here with me, they make me feel like they are. I Love them so much, you would love them! I know this year on my birthday next week I will be sad but I know you are always here and my friends will wrap me up in their love and make sure I don't sad. I love you so much daddy and I miss you. HAPPY 49th BIRTHDAY!


	16. Daddy I am Still Your Baby Girl

Daddy, today you celebrated your birthday in Heaven and I had a rough day as you knew when you looked down. Daddy if you were here, we would had Charcoal burgers with bacon around them, I can still smell your cooking. It's snowing on your birthday! If you were here we would go out in it and just play around even tho it isn't a lot. I miss you lots and even tho I will turn 19 next Thursday I am still your baby girl. Our faith has grown strong and we are getting Baptize Sunday! I know you will be present in spirit. I know you smile when people makes me smile, your jaw must be hurting lots cuz a bunch of people on here makes me smile. Today I let me tears flow but they cleared up after I talked to my family on here. I can't thank them enough for staying by me thru everything. I love them so much. You are right, Family isn't all in the blood it is in the heart, and these people on here are family to me. I guess the only dis advantage about being a daddy's girl is when he is gone you think the whole world is gone on days like today and so forth, but with friends who surround me with love it does get easier. Yall are an Amazing family, and I love yall lots.


	17. 4 Days of Happiness and Now This Recent

I don't know why but I am thinking that all the happiness I had the past 4 days, that I don't miss daddy. I miss him every day, I miss all the things we used to do. I know I shouldn't be sad, but I guess the reason why is that Monday will be 2 months that he will be gone. I said I was thru counting and all but I guess it just got brought in because of the holiday coming Monday. I know in my heart that I am glad he isn't here in pain and all and I have all of yall who are here for me. Some days I am so happy and it doesn't seem like he's gone but then I come back in the house and it feels like something missing and there is. Daddy is. My strength is growing and my faith is growing, just like Daddy would have liked. I can remember the day I got on here and yall started talking about wrestling, he was outside cooking and everytime he came in I said look daddy, isn't these people fun, everyday after that he always asked me what was my crazy friend up to. I know yall will be here for me, but I can't say thanks enough to yall. I Just Thanks God For Yall.


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